Thneeds, Lepidopterans, and Carver

how to ease my mind?
waste. i am so sick of waste, but far be it from me to tell others how to live. i'll just judge them behind their backs and write nasty things about them on this blog! i kid, kind of. China is poisoning its environment for U.S. consumerism, not to mention the global ecological impact. americans have to have their cheap wal-mart crap, and China has the manpower and the raw materials to meet these so-called needs, which are ever-increasing it seems. it makes me think of the lorax--again. truffula trees being cut and factories built, mucking up the environment. it's funny, the product that is in such high demand in the book is a weird type of sweater called a thneed, which is a clever combination of the words thing+need. anyway, i was thinking about certain writers, such as Orwell, Huxley, and Dr. Seuss, to name a few, and kind of marvel at their sense of prophecy. Huxley, for example, was right on with the depiction of the effects of soma, and that was in the 1930s. pharmaceuticals are the new it drugs, and kids are renouncing the natural plants and herbs of yesteryear, for pills which make them zombies or pills like adderol that make them want to vaccuum for hours or some shit. it won't be long until everyone is on some pill, unable to FEEL, really feel, which is something that Helmholtz Watson in Brave New World desperately wants. he wants to write words that are "piercing", which is impossible in a soma-hazed society. they just won't get it, and they may even react with a hive mind, ready to pounce on those that do. anyway, back to needs and waste. i always reach a point of utter hopelessness when i think about this, and i know i'm not alone. everything comes to mind at once, like a flash- flood waterfall. i start thinking about the plethora of huge fish that Lewis and Clark witnessed as they were exploring "the new world" and how it's not fair that i don't get to see that, and instead i get to see HORRIBLE, UGLY, COOKIE-CUTTER housing developments. then i think about the gorilla and the tiger on the dangerous cusp of extinction. styrofoam and plastic bags make me want to puke, especially when sometimes i use them. so Winston Smith discovered in 1984 that hope does not lie in the proles. the masses don't want to change. they will never want to give up their things and reduce their waste--that's my observation, not Winston's. they will keep wasting and expanding, until...i don't know. is it best then to focus on my personal ecological circumference and stop worrying about how the forests, animals, and water supplies of the world are fucked? it sure would ease my mind in a way, but it wouldn't help the situation any, or would it? this will warrant more reflection. onward!

caterpillars then butterflies, oh my!

back in june, meera, mike, ashok and i went to Stockton and Galena IL. Stockton is a tiny farm town, but not flat at all like what one expects of the midwest. here's the interesting part. during the ice age, a glacier covered most of the midwest, and as it receded it left the Great Lakes and this area mostly flat. but the glacier didn't come as far west as the Stockton/Galena area, so that place is hilly, like Iowa. it's so pretty!! here's a pic of the farm house where we stayed--a friend of meera's let us use it for the weekend. anyway, instead of having a farm there, he let the land turn back to it's natural prairie state, which you can't see here. anyway, there's plenty of nice forestland around and we took lots of walks. on one particular walk, i came across two leaves on a nondescript plant that were oh so delicately webbed together. not entirely together, though. there was just enough room to peek through to see what was hiding between the leaves. anyway, it was a caterpillar, the cutest, fattest caterpillar you ever did see. it was smooth green with black dots for eyes that looked dabbed on with a felt tipped marker. after that encounter, i've been having synchronistic experiences with butterflies. i see them all over the place. it's great.
time to read

yup. i'm starting on Prose's "books to be read imediately" list. i chose Raymond Carver's Where I'm Calling From: Selected Stories to start. i've read and taught a few of Carver's stories, and now's my chance to get into the nitty gritty. so excited. i did go to borders yesterday to buy that and Cathedral, of which nearly all the stories are in the former book, so i'm debating whether or not to return it. also, i bought drown by Junot Diaz. Cole taught that book a lot at Manhattan Comp, and I've always wanted to read it. She has such exquisite taste in everything. anyway, i felt a twinge of guilt going to borders as opposed to my local used indie store, but i got over it right quick. here's my fantasy: a miracle happens, and i no longer have to work the 9 to 5 grind, yet we have a nice income, and i can read all day long, completely guilt free! write, too. and spend more time in mother nature. ah....