Wu Wei All the Way

on friendships
i feel one of two ways:
(1) liberated, setting my friendships adrift, meeting joyfully when we will, letting years pass, not actively keeping in touch...
OR
(2) tense, unsure if friends are still my friends, if my lack of contact is enough to sever ties...

usually i'm feelin' #1, but lately, i've been feelin' a little #2 (no-not that number 2). i have to accept certain realities about myself. that is, i am a little bit of a loner, but i love my people! and when they reappear in my life after a long hiatus, i want to hug them and never let go, but let go i must...we all have to let go. that said, i heard from a couple of friends via email that i haven't heard from in some time, and it made me slip from #1 to #2. the need to possess and hold and reaffirm took over momentarily, but then i let go, with the thought that the folks who reappear again and again, as if no time has passed, are not going anywhere. and with that, i ease back to #1.
lights fade out. Sting's "if you love somebody, set them free" is heard on a distant radio.
orchid

isn't this beautiful? it's a "new" species of orchid (1 of 11 species of plants and animals) discovered in a remote jungle in vietnam. it looks hearty in its rareness. the center reminds me of the electrical impulses of neurons. i like to 'trip out' on beauty in nature and art, so that it reappears in my dreams, transforming my thoughts and coloring the words that spill out of me.

a new outlook

no more grand plans. no more stock in the future. i want to be in every moment. ashok and i talk about art and keeping it alive, just about every day. more so now that we work in environments that are devoid of it. all the more reason to keep the art alive in ourselves in the moments we can. a small fire to sustain us throughout the day, allowing us to be present, not always looking to the future to save us. the taoist principle of wu-wei comes to mind here. chuang tzu, a taoist sage, called it "purposeless wandering", and that's exactly what i want to do. the idea has been reduced to the cliche, "going with the flow", and i guess, looking beyond the tedious banality of that phrase, there's something to it. i imagine myself floating in a river. sometimes the current is rough, sometimes serene. but i'm there all the while, going where it takes me. it's moving me. it's me, moving. and the line between 'it' and 'me' becomes blurred. so, wu-wei coupled with my uncle's philosophy which is, there is nothing in life to worry about is all i need right now. and, of course, the words of the gurus: narayana, nataraja, & nitya. i will always fall back on those. so, i'm trying to be here now, man!! and every moment offers me a new chance. wish me luck!

fall
it's officially fall, and i am itching to go back to starved rock. i want to wait until it's just right, though, preferably on a day where there's only a few other homo sapiens around. and the leaves are at their prime transformation, when the colors are most vibrant. i want to drink up those colors and sit in a canyon and breathe it all in, with my baby.