Space

into the wild
do we need to go anywhere to realize the true Self? i often have this feeling that i need to be in wild nature right away, as if somehow my surroundings will have an effect on this realization. is it nature that calms my mind and infuses my heart with a sense of awe and peace? or is that awe and peace are already there in me, regardless of where i am? i think the latter is true, especially when i consider nelson mandela's 27 years in prison and martin luther king jr.'s letter from a birmingham jail. they both found peace in a prison cell, and so too i can find peace in my cubicle, just as easily as i can find it in the squirming of a caterpillar or in the flight of a heron. i think nature serves as a reminder of what we already are, that we have to get nowhere and achieve nothing, and perhaps that's why so many of us flee to it, like chris mccandless. i guess it's a reminder in the same way that my idols on my altar are reminders of my own essence. but are nature and idols necessary for realization? no. the work has to be done by me, alone. but it is important to preserve the wild spaces on the planet, so we can experience them and remember to get beyond experience itself.
now, discover your strengths!
i had to purchase and read this book for work. every week, my supervisor in monterey calls me and we discuss a chapter. it started with an online 'test' to figure out what my top 5 strengths are. the language of the series of books by marcus buckingham is based on these 34 strengths. anyway, my top 5 are: maximizer, intellection, adaptability, connectedness, and input. by the way, you have to purchase the book to get the code to take the online test. i won't go into the details of each of my so-called strengths, but the point of all this discovery is to do what you do best at work, thus making you a more productive and happy employee, and, of course, increasing the bottom line of the company. a major point in the book is that to focus on your 'strengths', as opposed to your 'weaknesses', is the best way to grow within the company and be happy in what you do. focusing on your 'weaknesses' is akin to hitting your head against a brick wall again and again. i have a few issues with what strengths and weaknesses actually are. for instance, if i take the test at one point in time, and i take it again six months later, who's to say that my top 5 strengths won't shift radically? this book is along the lines of howard gardner's theory of multiple intelligences, and i dare to say that a part of me doesn't buy either school of thought completely. during my school years, i hated mathematics. but i knew i could understand it if taught to me correctly. with that understanding came a feeling of triumph. this doesn't exactly align with gardner, because according to him, if i struggle with math, perhaps i may be stronger in a different kind of intelligence. to be fair, he does also say that a different educational approach may be necessary, though i happen to think patience and repetition is all that's necessary in mastering a basic skill. over time, i have realized that not only do i not hate mathematics, but i have grown to love it and long to learn more about it, especially geometry, which i failed in high school! there's a certain kind of exhiliration that comes from learning a skill that you thought you could never learn. none of my top strengths indicate my deep interest in mathematics. for example, i have to work with numbers and spreadsheets quite a bit in my job, and initially this was rather daunting, and i thought i just wasn't good at it. but i have repeated the tasks so many times that a certain fluidity is now there when i work in excel. again, the strenghs finder test cannot detect this. also, just because 'intellection' is one of my strengths, doesn't mean i enjoy using my intellect at work, necessarily. i'd rather, much rather, use it to read Guru's books, emerson, or tolstoy and have discussions regarding those. there is no way i could use this strength at work, or any of them for that matter, to their fullest extents, and i am fine with that. in fact, i don't need to use them at all. all i need, and i dare to say all that other corporate slaves need, is a boss who doesn't take herself too seriously, is not afraid to laugh, and doesn't micromanage. these qualities alone would make any job more bearable. onward!
jupiter in the east village
one of my favorite new york memories happened one night while ashok and i were walking down 1st avenue in the east village. we must have been coming back from a bar because that's what you do in new york at night. there was a man on the sidewalk with a telescope, and he was charging people to have a look at jupiter. i couldn't pass up the opportunity, so we paid up and i peered in. it was awesome. there sat jupiter, big, bright, and magnificent! my world narrowed in an instant to the size of a glowing orange marble, which in reality is the size of 300 earths! man. i wanted to take that telescope home with me.