There is so Much i Want to Share With You

which drop will start the gush?
i feel so excited that i don't know where to begin. let me start by explaining where i've been these past several weeks. basically, i've been in my cubicle. that sounds depressing, but it's not actually. the restlessness that i've been feeling (perhaps all my life) is gone. i am happy without plans and without direction. of course, i am planning this india trip, and that requires a certain amount of forethought, but the plans i am abandoning are of the grander sort. i am diving into the abyss, without expectation and without fear. i'll see you "there"!
it's good to be green
start each day with home made green juice. throw these washed/scrubbed ingredients into the vitamix: spinach (a handful for each person), kale or broccoli, celery, carrots, an apple (with seeds removed), and one other fruit, either banana, pineapple, or mango. add some ginger, too. pour a cup of store bought 100% juice into the mix and blend until smooth. then squirt a couple of teaspoons of flax seed oil into the vitamix, and blend on low speed for a few seconds. finally, live a long, healthy life with smooth and satisfying bowel movements! speaking of which, meera told me about the bristol stool chart. check it out. it's very interesting how our society is all-consumed with what we put into our mouths, but too prudish to talk about what comes out of our ass-holes, or doesn't. having a good quality bowel movement--that's a level 3 or 4 on the bristol chart-- is essential every day! also, the enzymes in raw foods are potent, but they are destroyed once cooked. enzymes are a vital digestive aid! and lack of good digestion can lead to a slew of health problems.
dad
my dad's favorite color was blue. today i miss him, and my philosophy is nowhere to be found. i miss my daddy. he used to sing malayalam poetry with the mirth of a child, slapping his knee (or mine) with gusto at a particular verse. i was bereft today because there's so much more i wanted to learn from him. can i enjoy his beloved kathakali without crying? can i be in india for one day without crying? his body left me in april, but he was long gone years before that. he used to say, "my dear, you are me. " i just want to hear that from his lips one more time, then maybe i'll get it. i miss you every day, dad. how can i stop missing you?